It’s been awhile.
For some reason it’s been a challenge to sit down and put words to what’s been happening in my life and in the world around me. I had great ideas of posting a lot more frequently, inspired by a Christian writer who keeps saying that blogging isn’t dead.
But here it is. Many months later. I think I’m still processing the changes in my life. It’s been 17 months since I moved back to New Jersey. There was the move itself, with all of its upheaval and exhaustion after living in the same place for 31 years. Then there was the job search and the adjustment to a new work environment and a much longer commute. The next step was to find a place of my own again and settle in to creating a life here up north, a world away from the condo and the palm trees I left in Florida. So I started what turned out to be a surprisingly frustrating attempt to find an apartment or home. I couldn’t figure out why God kept closing the doors.
And then it became apparent. Covid.
I was in the middle of the home search when Covid changed everything last March. If I had found a place on my timeline, I would have been right in the middle of a move or a closing when the world stopped. I would have been been alone during lockdowns. I would have been challenged financially when we had to take a salary cut at the university where I work in order to save our jobs. Instead, I found myself living with family, and seeing just another reminder of how God orders our steps when we are submitted to His will and not our own.
I think that’s really the story of my life, and especially my life over the past year and a half. God orders my steps. I believe the path will head one way, but then it heads another way. I make plans, then it becomes evident that He has other intentions for me. But I can always look back over my shoulder and see that He has consistently prepared me in ways I could never know apart from Him. Because of that, I’m getting better at recognizing when I need to stop struggling and let His will unfold. When things get crazy or discouraging or frustrating and I can’t figure out how to hurry it or fix it or even make sense of it, I’m seeing more and more how I need to just rest in His presence and take one step at a time. He’ll (eventually) make clear what I’m supposed to do next, even though He might hit the “pause” button for a bit first.
So during this “awhile” away from writing more, God has still been at work. He’s been giving me the chance to live out “anticipatience”. I’ve been learning many “lessons in the waiting”. After the whirlwind of changes, God has settled me down. I’m finding my routine. I’m still walking with Him step by step on this crazy adventure and I’m watching to see where His path will take me next.
The world (and my world) are different than they were 17 months ago. So grateful that God isn’t.
Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever. Hebrews 13:8
My steps have held fast to your paths. My feet have not slipped. Psalm 17:5
The steps of a man are established by the Lord, and he delights in his way. Psalm 37:23